Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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