Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
porn star boner night. come get it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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