PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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