now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
