So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
try to milk me bitch
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
