I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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