lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
