What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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