How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
