Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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