the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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