Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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