remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
