WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
