You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
