I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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