So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
