I'm sorry my penis didn't work
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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