You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
