Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize