so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
