Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
