Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
