I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I would fuck him just for his dog
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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