got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
