Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
