Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
