I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
