I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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