it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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