I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
