I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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