apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
