btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
