saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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