That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
