One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
