All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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