Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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