wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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