Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
