Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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