He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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