she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
