Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
