We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize