I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
