Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just gift wrapped bread.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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