I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You're a waste of cheezeits
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
