Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
