You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
