Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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