On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
