5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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