Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize