Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
