once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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