Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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