My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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