she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
