It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
