we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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