sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
