this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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