Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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