I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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